Greetings, readers!

I was once more exploring some of the archives of this site, and found the book review of “A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates” from RAND. I revisited that page, and thought I would share some of my favorite “helpful” reviews:

• “Pretty good, but why 1 million random digits and 100,000 normal deviates? Why not 967,273 random digits and 71,038 normal deviates? Or was the author going for irony? Sometimes I have a hard time picking that up.”
• Titled Clearly Plagiarised though still an exciting read, “having read it very carefully, I do believe the author plagiarised most of the middle chapters and the climax ending from the 400 million digit calculation of pi by a university in Tokyo. Did they really think we would not notice?”
• Titled  Not a good idea for a password, “I decided to use all 100,000 as my password only to discover everyone that owns this book now has my password to my bank. BTW, online banking now takes several days to complete a login.”
• Titled I have to write a report…, “Is there a Cliff’s Notes? I don’t really have the time to finish reading it before my report is due…” 
• Titled NOT RANDOM!!!, “I purchased 10 of these books because I am in need of 10 million random digits. However, I was extremely disappointed when I opened the books and each one was exactly the same. Random? No, sir. Not by a longshot.”
• Titled Out of date, “While I’m sure this was a breakthrough in its time, I’d like to see an updated edition with new random digits. Who wants to use random digits from 2001 anymore?”
• Titled I can’t say I loved it, but . . ., “. . . once you get used to the style, it’s far easier to get through than her prior work, “Atlas Shrugged.” The narrative voice is more humane, too, and ultimately I have found it makes more sense as a coherent philosophy.”
• Titled Not random!!, “There are a million of them but they are not, alas, random.
  You sheeple need to learn to read between the lines when you purchase books of this type. What is it? Random Numbers. By whom? The RAND Corporation. What was that title again? RANDom Digits.
  This so called “book” is nothing more than a clever advertising ploy. If you plot the “random” numbers on a 600×600 grid, using a simple transformation on the numbers, the result will be a series of images of the CEO of RAND mouthing the words “buy this book. Read The Hidden Persuaders for info on this alarming trend.
  I know, I did it.
  Disappointing and beneath Amazon to carry it.”
• Titled Beautifully inane and tedious, “After I got over my obsession with the Twilight saga, I didn’t think I would ever come across anything quite like it. Its breathtakingly insipid plot and the witlessness of the characters kept me hooked for the whole four books. Once I finished the series for the fifth time and seen all of the movies, I didn’t know what to do with my life. I slumped into a massive depression and I needed something to fill the gap that was left by Stephenie Meyer’s genius. Miley Cyrus’ autobiography held me over for a couple of weeks, as did the collective works of L. Ron Hubbard, but it just wasn’t the same. I needed something truly entropic! Then I found A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates, and it was like a breath of fresh air. Even it isn’t quite as jumbled and incomprehensible as the story of Edward and Bella, but it has a very unique charm to it. Highly recommended for anyone else who loves pulp romance, cheap science fiction novels, or anything else that is crass or half-baked. Overall, I’d have to give it a 4/5 because the title spoils the plot.”

I hope, readers, that you enjoyed that little foray into Amazon’s comment section.