Tag Archives: pointless

Obsessed with Royalty 2: Baby

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Your home.

What about it?

You’re still so obsessed with other countries’ royalty!

I mean, really. How many articles about the new royal baby do you need?

First, I think it’s mostly just the British that we obsess about.

Second, given that we’re writing one, at least one more article.

Third, you do realize that you linked to a British article? They’re probably permitted to be more excited about a new royal baby than we are about new presidents every few years.

Ok, fair point. In my defense, though, I did get to that article through an American website.

In all honesty, I’m not actually that upset. The Baby will be important. When it comes down to it, he probably already is important. Even if the monarchs of that realm do not have the same power as in my home land.

Huh? What do you mean?

From what I can tell, the United Kingdom’s monarchs are mostly symbols. I don’t think they do that much in making policy decisions.

But symbols are power. One article put it as the baby being a symbol of the country continuing for another generation. I could understand being excited about that- if it were my own country. Since you Americans aren’t British, though, I don’t entirely get it.

The way I see it, it’s an opportunity for us to make a big fuss and get excited and look at cute baby pictures. The British Royalty are essentially celebrities in America, after all.

I guess that is fair.

That doesn’t mean I have to agree, however.

Of course not. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to look for more footage of the new prince!

…

Well, Happy Wednesday, Fluffsters! I hope you have a great week.

How to: Write July 23’s Fluff Post

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Gee, not thinking of any particular ideas for your Fluff Posts, Webmaster?

…Maybe.

But just tonight’s. Until inspiration hit. (Spoiler alert.) Because, you see, I realized what I could write abou- Oops. more spoilers. Sorry.

I should probably just start the post.

If it even qualifies as a post…

Hey! Of course it does! But that’s another digression. So, without further ado:

Instructions for writing the fluff post for July 23, 2013

1) Look at the clock. Realize that it’s only 9:00pm on the 22nd. (12:00am on the 23rd Fluff Time.) You’ve got plenty of time to start spinning some yarn/thread/stuff before you need to start writing a fluff post! It’s a whole nine hours before it needs to be up and ready!

2) Lose track of time while wasting time. Look up at the clock again at about 11:00pm. Realize you’ve still got a bit of time before you were planning on going to bed.

3) Make some tea, and start thinking about the Fluff Topic. I would go with coffee, but that takes work. These days, for writing stuff, I’m going with Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. (I’ve always wanted to say that! Yay!)

You and your life goals…

Huh, yeah! I have just achieved a life goal! That’s fun!

But back to the list.

3b) “brainstorm”. Otherwise known as look around the internet, wander your current location aimlessly, and maybe read a book. All to get “inspired”, of course.

By this time, it’s a bit after midnight. You meant to go to bed about 15 minutes ago. Woops. Time to start thinking in earnest…

4) Focus. Fabric. Fabric is a good option- it’s fluffy, right?. Go to fabric.com to drool over all the fabrics available online that you can’t afford yet. Well, that you might be able to afford, but realize that you just bought about 5-10 yards of fabric recently that you haven’t started to use yet, and realize that you really shouldn’t get any more fabric. Even if it’s penguin printed fabric. More to the point, penguin printed fabric that would match your penguin socks perfectly.

I wonder if I could justify making a skirt out of this? Do I have any shirts that would work? Is it bad form to use flannels like that for adult(ish) apparel! Can I justify buying any of the fabric? Can I even afford how much it would take? ($13 a yard? No thanks!)

And I’m digressing again.

4b) Realize you can’t use fabric.com exclusively for your fluff post. Especially if you haven’t actually ordered anything from there (which I personally haven’t.) Besides, there’ve been enough posts on this blog about other websites already.

5) Stare at your messy counters. Realize that you’ve already written a post about how to messify any surface in just a few simple steps… there goes that stroke of inspiration.

6) Realize that you just passed your 175th blog post, so can’t even write about that. (Yay Fluff, though! Over 175 posts, and almost 6 months of daily blogging! Woohoo!)

7) Realize that what doesn’t kill you gives you stories. (Ooh, I should make a cafepress design out of that! I’ll let you know if I do.)

8) Enter Inspiration: Decide to write about writing a fluff post. The day is saved! And it’s only 12:30 am- still only about a half hour after “the latest I’m going to bed tonight, period.” (Hah!)

9) Get sidetracked by a conversation with Fluffy about what this post is going to be about. And give spoilers. You can’t forget the spoilers.

10) Start writing. Get up to point ten (Hey, look at that!) and wonder whether you should include pictures in your post.

11) Decide yes, and then decide to ignore that decision. And the sudden itch in your fingers to pick up a pen and try to figure out how to illustrate this post.

12) Realize that it’s almost 1:00am, and that you can always update the post later.

13) finish the post, have the final conversation with Fluffy (if it happens), double check everything, realize that you’re linking to this post in this post, yadda yadda, schedule for the post to go up at 9:00am on July 23rd, decide that you’ve gotten too little sleep and should therefore go to bed, follow through on that decision, and get ready for bed. And hopefully end up actually getting some sleep. (This hasn’t happened yet as I’m writing. It will hopefully have happened by the time you’re reading. Because time is weird like that, and so are blogs and stuff.)

So there you go, Fluffsters! That’s how to write today’s post in 13 circuitous steps. Happy Tuesday!

Wait, what about the final conversation with me? It didn’t happen!

You mean the one we’re having now?

…Oh. Yes.

I think it sort of slipped my mind.

Anyways, as I was saying, happy Tuesday! I hope you have a fantastic week!

bonus: ~~14)~~ Waffles) Realize that somewhere in there you took a screencap of how this post is the 1337-est post yet. Insert that picture, and an ambiguous timeframe. Is this supposed to have happened before or after I go to bed?

The Leetest post yet!

blue) Change what had been 14 above to waffles. Ambiguous times in lists and instructions are even more confusing when you have numbered lists. So ignore the numbers, and change it to something nonsensical. Return to the rest of 14 as usual.

So, once again: Happy Tuesday!

**update** Disclaimer: Results may vary, based on word choice. Simply following these directions does not guarantee that an identical post might easily be written.

Spinning Yarns!

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

So, I’m ridiculously happy. I got my drop spindle today!

As in for spinning thread and yarn?

…yes? What other kind of drop spindle do you know of?

I don’t, which is why I was clarifying.

Huh?

I hoped there would be some logical explanation for why you’re happy.

Because I’ll be able to start trying to spin yarn.

Oh, right. It’s a bit less common on your world to do that, isn’t it?

I don’t know. It’s certainly not overly common.

If I had to spin in my new home, I’d be jealous of that. As it is, however, I’m not. I needed to spin back on my world, but I don’t here.

I guess the novelty of it does count for a lot.

But anyways, I made a very bad, very short length of yarn tonight! And I’m very happy. After all, I’ll only be able to improve, right?

Very lumpy uneven first spun thread/yarn

My first spun yarn/thread/thing! I can only get better, right?

Well, I don’t think you can get any worse.

…Uh, yeah. Well, it was my first one. And I’m using a video tutorial. So yeah, it’s bad. But I’m still very happy with it!

I have a hope of being able to crochet my own hat from hand-spun yarn one of these days. Preferably soon. But more likely, before I die. You know, set your goals low, and then you can meet them!

That’s one way of looking at it, I suppose.

Yup! Anyways, Happy Sunday, Fluffsters! I hope you have an excellent week.

Peafowl!

1 Reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

I love where I live. The city wildlife is amazing.

City… wildlife. Can you explain this, possibly?

Sure! Alright, so I don’t particularly like the skunks, miscellaneous coyotes, opossums, or raccoons. But there are some really cute kitties-

Cats. How wild.

I wasn’t finished! There are some kitties. But we especially have some interesting wild birds. We occasionally get the rare owl, hawk or other raptors. And sparrows. But many places get those.

No, where I am right now, we get Peafowl. Wild peafowl

…Ah.

Yeah! I even got a few photos of some of them today. They were just meandering around the street, saying “neener neener.” So I decided to boost their egos by photographing them.

Peacock and family. Very pretty and cute.

Pretty Peacock! And look at those chicks!

Cute Peafowl family

Aren’t they pretty? And that’s a significantly less rare sight than seagulls where I went to college.

Let me guess. There’s a story behind that one, too.

Not much of one. Basically, I went to school at a college that was very in-state. Quite land-locked. And one day a miscellaneous seagull spontaneously generated.

A seagull that is highly out of place in a land-locked campus

The white speck is a seagull. It must have spontaneously generated.

So, how about you, Fluffsters? Any favorite city-wildlife? (Happy Friday, by the way!)

Five Things I’ve Said that my Parents Never Expected

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

In honor of my parents 31st anniversary (congratulations, Mom & Dad!) I’m sharing

Five things I’ve honestly said that my parents probably never expected to hear me say.

1) I want to take a nap. When I was a lot younger, I was one of those types of little ones. I despised nap-time. I saw no use for it, I “wasn’t tired”, and so I hated taking a nap. Now, I can’t get enough of them. I think I blame high school, and whatever social conventions have determined that regularly getting up before 10:00am is necessary.

2) Can you teach me to cook? I’m a bit surprised by this one, but this was the first thing that came to Mom’s mind when I asked her what something was that she never expected me to say. I guess that when I was a lot younger I had no interest in learning how to cook. It’s amazing what looking at allrecipes– especially the dessert, pretzel, and bread sections – will do to you! It’s almost worth the cleanup, even!

3) I want/need to take a shower/bath. I got over my extreme protestations about personal hygiene before I got to be too old. It’s still a bit of a nuisance to interrupt whatever you’re doing to go take a shower, but at least I no longer (exactly) protest. I fully realize that it is absolutely, 100% worthwhile to interrupt stuff to take a shower or bath, especially when needed.

4) Is there enough broccoli for me to have more? This especially happens when Mom makes her Broccoli Almondine recipe. It’s amazing. It’s broccoli, but it tastes good. I think Mom & Dad practically despaired of my ever liking broccoli. I liked brussel sprouts, but not that green-tree.

5) I want to study my textbook during the summer, to get a head-start on the school year! Yes, alas. College got a hold of me. I used to have this irrational worry about being “bored” in class because it would be “too easy.” My math classes broke me of that worry. Especially for classes beyond Calculus I, they are quite challenging enough. I wish I’d looked at my books earlier for more of my classes… math especially.

(Bonus) 6: Eww, mud! From what I can recall, I loved mud when I was younger. “Mud castles” were one of my favorite pass-times. Making rivers and drawbridges was also fun. I do remember tramping mud into the house several times without realizing it, and then needing to clean it up. These days, I really dislike mud. Or anything slimy, for that matter. (To be fair, I’m still ok with mud. I just don’t like getting it on my clothes.)

How about you, Fluffsters? Is there anything you say that your parents would never have expected?

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Masking tape is fantastic

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday! I hope you have a wonderful week!

Masking tape is one of the most useful materials I have come across.

I thought that your world loved this thing called “duct tape”?

That’s good too, but sometimes masking tape is a lot better.

Oh?

Yes. In fact, that’s one of the things I normally keep in my backpack.

Right next to your socks?

No. First, the socks live in my purse. Second, the tape would make them sticky. But not as sticky as Duct Tape would. Which leads me to:

Five things to use Masking Tape For

1) labeling things. Ever need to label a bag? A cup? A shoe? Yourself? Write on a piece of masking tape, tear it off, and stick it on whatever you need to label. I’d suggest not using it to label your hair, but that’s just me. Duct tape is a lot more difficult to write on.

3) Remove dirt. Put the tape on the dirty spot, and pull. It might remove some of the tape, carpet, furry stuff, paint, or whatever you’re using it on, but at least it won’t leave as much residue as duct tape would.

You skipped 2.

No, I didn’t yet. I’m just reordering them.

5) Fix your broken piece of chalk. Or pencil. Take your writing implement, put it back together, and wrap it with a couple rounds of masking tape. It’s not as sticky on the outside as duct tape, and so is more comfortable to hold.

4) Hanging dorm room decorations. Not candles, of course. Those are not permitted. But masking tape can be used to hang posters, banners, or basically anything else. Duct tape is normally not permitted.

So there you go, fluffsters! Five ways to use masking tape. Have a great wee-

You still skipped number 2.

That’s because I’m leaving it up to you, Fluffsters. What is your use for masking tape that I haven’t mentioned? Preferably one where Duct Tape wouldn’t work?

Fun with Vector Art: Owl(?)

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Saturday!

I have recently discovered how much fun vector art in Photoshop can be. It’s really fun being able to move a point by about a pixel or 3, and dramatically changing the look of something.

You’ve got a strange sense of fun.

So I spent just a little time tonight and created a… something. I think it’s sort of owlish, but I’m not sure. I could be wrong.

A blue, black, and white "owl." The Webmaster has clearly never seen one in real life.

I have no CLUE what I was doing.

Regardless, I had fun with it. I may work on it a bit more. But if I do, by the time it’s done, it’ll probably be very different. You know, like with a cane and a hat. And a mustache. And maybe some eye sparkles. And who knows? It might even be breathing fire. None of these things are likely, but they’re possible, right?

So, do any of you have any name suggestions for the current critter?

The Spitting Image.

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! I’m confused, so I’m going to get straight to the point. Have you considered how ridiculous some of your English phrases and words are?

Uh, some of them. Why?

Well, one phrase in particular has been bothering me.

Do I want to kno-

“The Spitting Image” of someone.

What does it even mean?

Alright. So I know that it “means” an “exact likeness.” Or extreme similarity. Or something like that. But really: “Spitting” “Image”. Those two words are being used together. It doesn’t make sense!

Oh, that phrase! That’s an easy one!

You see, spit is made up of mostly water. Water reflects quite nicely. Since you spit near yourself, it’s that much easier for the water to reflect you. Hence: Spitting Image.

…I seriously don’t know why I try.

Seriously, why do I try?

Because the show must go on? But what do you mean, anyways? Do you think my explanation is inadequate?

Yes. I do think it’s inadequate. A website devoted to phrases hasn’t been able to figure out the true origin adequately. I doubt that your explanation is the right one.

Hmpf. I thought you were the one who asked.

For a good explanation.

Or at least not a crazy one. So, Fluffsters, do you have any thoughts on what that phrase actually means? If so, please leave a comment below! Happy Friday!

TV’s Gone to the Dogs.

Leave a reply

Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! It’s the middle of the week- yay!

Today’s post is ~~plagiarized from~~ inspired by Fluffy.

What?

Yes. You posted about a tv channel designed for dogs. So that inspires today’s post:

Top Reasons to buy your pet a TV

1) You don’t need to share the remote. I mean, have you seen Garfield? Poor Jon is hardly ever seen using the remote to his TV. Clearly, if Garfield had his own TV, Jon would be able to watch whatever he wants, whenever he wants!

Sometimes, I wonder whether the Webmaster realizes when things are fake…

b) Keep your pet entertained while you’re out of the house. Because buying a toy, and letting them play outside is so not good enough. Kids are allowed to watch TV and not play with their toys or go outside for entertainment! Why should your pet be any different?

Four) Bragging rights. “My dog’s better than your dog! My dog’s better than yours! My dog’s better ’cause he has his own TV and channel for crying out loud! That’s why my dog’s better than yours.”

There you go! A few reasons why you should get your pet its own TV, and buy your dog a subscription to the TV channel.

Happy Wednesday!

Instructions for writing the fluff post for July 23, 2013

Five things I’ve honestly said that my parents probably never expected to hear me say.

If I had a dollar for every time (something) occurred.

If I had a dollar…

Five things to use Masking Tape For

“The Spitting Image” of someone.

Top Reasons to buy your pet a TV