Category Archives: pointless

Five Uses for Feather Boas (Alright, Ten)

Note: If this is your first time here, please visit this brief rundown. Thanks!

Happy Tuesday, folks! I hope your week started off well.

Well, with Irish music like what I found yesterday, how could it not have?

My, aren’t we full of ourselves today?

Oh, you are too?

…

Anyways, I’m here today to talk to you about one of the most delightfully fluffy fashion accessories on the face of the earth:

The Feather Boa

A Feather Boa? Snakes on your world have feathers?

Oh. No. Not that type of boa. No, Feather boas are a fashion accessory! They look a bit like this:

Purple Fluff, in Accessory Form!

How GHASTLY!

Uh, what?

So. Flippin. Fuzzy. What do you even do with it?

Ah, how convenient! That leads me to the topic of:

Top Five Things to do with a Feather Boa

1) Wear it around your neck. It’s sort of like a big long feathery scarf.

That… would clash with everything. And it would get itchy.

Hush, Fluffy! Will you let me finish? Please?

Ok, ok, sorry. Finish your list…

Thank you. So as I was saying, if you wear it around your neck, it’s like a really long feather scarf. And really warm! After all, that fluff traps a lot of heat. It’s great for cold winter days.

2) Cut it to an appropriate length, and use it as a headband. Like with the scarf, it will keep your head warm. And be quite the daring look!

3) Give it to a child for dress-up. It adds instant class to any child’s wardrobe, and will let her have a lot of fun. The boas come in all sorts of colors! Hot Pink? Instant princess! Black? You’re princess Batman! Lime Green? Celebrity. And there are so many more!

4) Give to a child as a toy. And now the child can use it with her stuffed puppy as a leash! And that leash has such class.

5) Decorating. I haven’t actually tried this, but I imagine Red and Green Feather Boas can so easily be used to add festive cheer. Put them on the walls, around the windowsill, or anywhere where you’d normally use tinsel. This would provide a softer look. Let me know if that works? I imagine you can use pastel colors for a spring look. And so many more!

Well, there you go! Happy Tuesday!

I think this is where my main purpose comes into play… That was WAY to fluffy to be healthy. So, here we go:

Top 5 Things Fluffy Would Like to See Feather Boas Used For

1) fire-starters. Assuming they’re not made of non-flammable or toxic material, all that fuzz looks like it would start a fire amazingly. At the very least, it would get rid of the boa.

2) Fluffifier Decoys. Wanting to know who in the room is way too obsessed with fluff and fuzz? Pull out the feather boa. Toss it in some random direction. Watch and see how many people in the room go after it. Congratulations, you’ve now found all the Fluffifiers in the room!

3) Cleaning rag. Hopefully, by the time you’ve used it to wash enough greasy dishes, it will no longer be so… fluffy. At the very least, it will probably be a lot grungier, and therefore slightly less obnoxious.

4) A slingshot. And if you use sharp enough rocks or other projectiles, the fuzz will start to wear off. No more Feather Boa! Yay!

5) A rope Ladder. To a tree-house. Eventually, all that will be left is the base. And who knows, it might even attract more birds! And once again, you achieve the purpose of “no more feather boa.” And besides, what tree-house doesn’t need a snake-like creature hanging down from it?

And with that, readers, happy Tuesday!

“Facts” about Rome: An InfoGraphic

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Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this explanation.

Happy Foundation of Rome Day!

Oh, you actually got to a Holiday before I could? I’m quite surprised.

Well, it had to happen some time, didn’t it?

Anyways, in light of this momentous anniversary, I have created an Infographic.

Another infographic?

Yup! And I’ve illustrated it and everything!

…I’m a bit worried. So, an infographic. What’s it about?

“Facts” about Rome.

… That you may have created on the spot?

Of course!

But without further ado, here it is:

An infographic about Rome that discusses how old Rome is relative to Star Wars, how the Romans were inspired by The Hunger Games, Roman Food, and how Romulus's twin was teleported into Harry Potter World

Happy Something-Thousand-and-something Birthday, Rome!

Yup, further reading definitely required.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: how do you even come up with this stuff?!

What? I didn’t even touch on some of the weird stuff.

That wasn’t- oh, nevermind. Happy Sunday, readers!

Yup, Happy Sunday everyone! I hope you have a great day!

Top 5 Uses for Mini-Marshmallows

Top 5 uses for mini-marshmallows.

1) Eat. Just plain. Or better yet, give to a five year old and see what happens. You’ll definitely not be bored after that!

2) Use for office/dorm-battles. What happens if you combine a mini-marshmallow and a rubber-band gun, anyways? Or forget the gun, let’s just use the rubber-band!

Mini-Marshmallows Incoming!!

It would probably work better with a) a thicker rubber-band, b) an actual holdy-thingy like real slingshots have, and possibly c) full size marshmallows.

3) Hot Chocolate. Of course. Or maybe coffee. Regardless, putting them into a hot beverage to melt. And then drink. But you probably knew that, since you’re smart and stuff.

4) Snowball fights in California. Or during the summer. After all, Christmas in July is a thing, right? Why not celebrate with a “snowball” fight? (Of course, it once again works better with larger marshmallows. But minis can still squish into relative “snowball” shape, which can then be used for throwing at people.)

5) Marshmallow Taffy. If you haven’t tried this, you need to. I’ve illustrated/written down the instructions/recipe for marshmallow taffy in the recipes section. So you should check it out.

I hope this gives you some ideas! But what about you? Do you have any favorite uses for Mini Marshmallows?

Site of Interest: Book-A-Minute

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Hello, everyone! Happy Wednesday!

You know, you should really figure out a more interesting opening to your blog posts…

It’s not as though you do any better on any of your posts.

But as I was saying, it’s Wednesday! By about noon today, you’ll be halfway done with the work-week, school-week, whatever-part-of-the-week-you-call-it-week! And do you know what that means? Free time is coming up!

That’s… planning ahead.

I admit to being surprised, Webmaster!

Yup. I try!

Anyways, since you’re going to have free time, here’s a great site to spend some of it on. It’s a website that ultra-condenses books, called book-a-minute.

Wow… I just visited that. You meant ultra-condenses books. That’s slightly scary.

Yeah! It’s better than Sparknotes!

Please don’t tell me you’re actually using these to get what the story is about. Please.

…

No. You’re not serious…?

…

Happy Wednesday! I hope you enjoy the rest of your week, and find that site useful and fun.

You don’t stay alive as a spy by… (Top 5)

2 Replies

Note: If this is your first time to this site, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, everyone! Happy Monday!

Today’s post is another “Answer the Question” one.

Please. Just no more muffin flavored shrimp, ok?

Don’t worry! Not in this post. No, today’s question was:

Finish the following sentence: “You don’t survive as a spy by…”

I got a variety of answers. Some of them made sense. Others, like “eating porridge”, “Eating fried chicken”, “being the slowest fish in the pond”, and “Kissing hands” were a little… confusing.

What’s confusing about them?

Clearly, where food is concerned, that points out one of two things. Either

1) eating exclusively those things. That’s, after all, going to draw attention to you. Or

2) The food is poisoned.

…Oookay, then!

So, slowest fish in the pond?

Well, then you lose your cover when you try to escape.

…Ah.

Well, anyways. Back to the Top Five Answers to:

You Don’t Survive as a Spy By

1) Jumping Off Buildings. This seems fairly obvious. Especially if you’re talking skyscraper-sized buildings. Even jumping into the water. That can at the very least be extremely painful (which might lead to permanent injuries which prevent you from being a spy). The worst, of course, is that you literally don’t survive.

2) Telling the Truth. “Hello, ma’am! I’m here as a spy of your country’s arch-enemy. Could you please tell me your country’s secrets?” That clearly just doesn’t work. Bad life (and career) choice.

This leads us to our next one.

3) Person1 asks a question of Person2. From behind the closed, locked door comes the answer, from Person3. “How long have you been listening at the keyhole, Person3?” Person1 asks. Person3 enters sheepishly, and says, “Well, you don’t survive as a spy by-“

Revealing how long you’ve been listening at keyholes. Reveal how long you’ve been listening, and they might come after you.

…Uh, “they”?

Shh. You interrupted the list! “They” is a device to make the list more mysterious. Since we’re talking about spies and stuffs.

But as I was saying,

4) Starting a sentence with “You don’t survive as a spy by…”. There’s no surer way of killing your career as a spy by telling people that you’re trying to survive as a spy. You’ve just revealed your profession. This goes with number 2, and that just doesn’t work.

And finally, You don’t survive as a spy by…

5) Dying. Although this may seem obvious, it is important to remember! You can’t survive by dying. So you certainly can’t survive as a spy by dying!

So, there you have it. Five ways to not survive as a spy. If you’re a spy, I recommend you don’t follow any of these. Unless you’re spying on my country. Then you totally should. Especially number 4.

Wow. Subtle.

Thank you!

Why do I even try sarcasm? Why do I even try?

Oh, that was sarcasm again? My bad…

And once again, happy Monday, everyone! I hope you have a wonderful week.

Fluffy (computer-smudge-art-drawn) Bunny!

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Hello, everyone!

Happy Sunday! I hope you have a blessed day.

Anyways, I’ve realized that there’s a distinct lack of fluffy bunnies on my website. So I’m here to (somewhat) fix that.

…Really? ANOTHER pointless, content-less post?

Well, not entirely pointless. You get to see a hand-done picture of a bunny!

Fluffy Bunny! Or Fluffeh Bunneh. Hand-done with a computer

Hand-Done Fluffy Bunny, via smudge-art!

Oh goody. I’m so thrilled. Words cannot express…

Aww, thank you!

You know? I really miss in-person interactions. I can’t tell when you know that I’m being sarcastic.

Anyways, happy Sunday!

How Animals Eat their Food: Amazing.

And The Ducks’ Names are…

Name the Ducks!

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Before we start the post, Hi! If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this explanation of what’s going on. Thanks!

Ok, now that that’s over with…Hi! As you may recall, in yesterday’s post I posed a challenge for naming two photobombing duck ninjas. Today, I’m asking for your favorites!

When will I learn that the Webmaster’s serious whenever she plans on making things multiple parts?!

So anyways, here are the favorites:

1) Black Ninja, and Purple Ninja.
2) Pip & Squeak,
3) Muaha & Haha, for the purpose of “MUAHAHAHA” excuses,
4) Slartibart & Craig
and
5) Scout and Bandit

So, I’d like it if you would weigh in! I’d like to hear your thoughts.

(And it might not be too late to submit a name. If you come up with something absolutely perfect, please submit it. And readers, if you see a name in the comments that you think looks amazing, let me know!)

Happy Thursday!

**Update: Another set of names I like: Merry & Pippin.**

Problems with Photobombers

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So, yesterday evening, I had an unfortunate problem. And, readers, I need your advice.

The weather was actually lovely, and so I decided to try to take some pictures.

How unfortunate.

What? No! That’s not the problem.

The problem was that there were these two that kept following me around and photobombing my pictures.

What is it with you and things following you around?

…At least it isn’t mold.

But anyways, as I was saying. They were seriously getting into every picture I took last night. Even a picture of my food! Like seriously. I was taking a picture of my dinner, and before I took the picture, they’d stolen some of my bread, and got into my picture.

Anyways, my question is this:

My Two Photobombers

What are their names?

Your photobombers are ducks? Ninja, rubber ducks? And you’re asking for help naming them?

I know! Isn’t it horrible? I mean, just look at the photos they got into!

Two ninja ducks hiding behind a lamp post

For ninjas, they don’t actually hide very well.

Ninja Ducks photobombing a picture of a shrubbery

I see you lurking there, ninja ducks…

A ninja duck hanging upside down in the photo

Uh, hello there… HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THERE?!

The ducks even photobombed my picture of ninjas!

They even photobombed my picture of two ninjas I found!

Yes, ninja duck, that IS a nice picture of a sunset that YOU JUST PHOTOBOMBED!

The Ninja Ducks STOLE some bread, and ATE it in my PHOTO

HEY! MY DINNER!

So, as I was saying: What are their names? I’m honestly looking for suggestions. I feel like these ducks will show up in some stories at some point, but I don’t know what to call them!

So far, suggestions have been Pumpernickle & Harmonne, Scout & Bandit, Squeaky & Khanji, MSP & .NET (that was from a different computer programmer from the one that helped me previously, actually…), Black Ninja & Purple Ninja (The one in black is clearly Purple Ninja. And vice versa.) and Brutus & Caesar.

After I get enough suggestions, I’ll put your favorites into a new post, and ask for last reviews. So, leave a comment! Who knows, your proposed name might become their names!