Category Archives: Holidays

Scary Things / Halloween Decorations 2: College Websites

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Hello again, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!

So… your next post in the “scary things” series- is it on greeting people? And wishing them a happy Monday in a too cheerful manner?

…No. But that’s actually a good idea! Maybe I’ll do that next year.

Today’s post is actually about one of the genuinely scariest things on the face of this earth:

College Websites.

Pause for a moment. Think about it. You know it’s true. Especially if you’ve tried to navigate one before.

You know what? You’re actually right. Those things are scary.

Thanks, Fluffy! It’s nice to have outside confirmation.

How College Websites are Scary

1) You get lost too easily. Frequently, a college or university website is nothing more than a set of miniature websites jammed together into a “single” website. There’s no rhyme or reason, and broken links abound.

2) You can’t even find anything. Seriously. Most of the time, rather than actually using the site to find someone, like a specific professor’s website or anything, I use Google. Here’s a useful tip for you, actually: If at the beginning of your Google search you put (site:sitename.ending keyword1) that tells Google to search just that site. So for example, if you want to find information about getting a Ph.D from Harvard in economics, you’d type site:harvard.edu phd economics . It helps. It’s certainly a lot easier than trying to click your way around to the econ department site!

3) They can determine your future. If you can’t find out how to apply to an undergraduate program, you can’t go to that program for your degree. If the site crashes as you’re trying to upload an application or trying to pay for an application, it might not work. Then your application wouldn’t go through, and you won’t get into the school, and your life might be worse off.

4) They suck away your money. Applications are expensive. College websites are responsible for applications and charging you for them. So therefore the university websites take your money from you.

In other words, college websites are scary, and totally worth being used as Halloween decorations.

…Ok, you got me. How do you use a website as decoration?

I’m glad you asked!

Using A College Website as Halloween Decorations

There are several ways you could do this.

1) Print off the homepage. Some universities should seriously reconsider the graphics artists they invested in. Just looking at the homepage is enough to make one cringe.

…says the person who designed a site to look like a baby-yarn star exploded onto the web.

This website’s at least tasteful, ok?

It’s not like a school that uses pictures of the grounds in the background… in such a way that the pictures can’t even be seen fully.

Oh Redevki. Some school sites actually do that?

“Redevki”?

Oh, sorry. It’s a mild expletive on my world. It’s comparable to your “Oh My”, but a little bit stronger.

Ah.

But yes. I’m not going to inflict that link upon you. Needless to say, though, it would make a halloween decoration too scary to behold.

2) Print off the 404 links on pages that you need to access. Then paint an evil face on it. Maybe fold it, and make it look as though it’s coming to eat your soul. I tell you, the 404 errors will get you every time.

Weird… You’re actually writing stuff I agree with this post.

It had to happen some time. Don’t get used to it.

3) Create a slideshow of the code. Especially areas where the website uses any sort of inline styling. I realize this just went over the heads of anyone who doesn’t do website stuff, but trust me: it will make every (decent) web developer cringe to look at.

3b) Draw bugs over your slides of the code. That way you can demonstrate genuine bugs in the code. This gives you the added bonus of the evilness of a pun!

4) Require guests for a party to print off a particular page that you describe as their ticket. Or as the way they get candy. Granted, this isn’t strictly decoration related. It’s still Halloween themed, though, so I’m including it.

But there you go, fluffsters! Some more information about the scariness known as university websites.

Fun Facts You Never Knew About September

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Note: If this is your first time to TotalFluff, please visit this brief explanation. Thanks!

Hello, Fluffsters! Happy last day of September!

I guess that is more reasonable than wishing people a “happy Monday…”

That may be true, but when has that ever stopped me?

…Good point.

Well, anywho. That’s sort of off topic for the post. Because, you see, this post is on:

Fun Facts You Never Knew About September

…Which you probably gathered from the title. But oh well.

Yes.

1) September starts with an “S.” This might not seem like an interesting fact, until you realize that it’s the only month that starts with an “s”. In fact, it’s one of only two months to have an S in it.

2) It originally comes from “sept” which is a form of the word for serpent.

Uh, are you sure you don’t actually mean “septem” or “seven”, for the seventh month?

Yes, I’m sure I don’t mean seven. It’s not the seventh month, after all! That would just be silly to name it after the number 7, when it’s the ninth month.

No. You see, what happened was that it started off as serpent. Then serpent went to Srpnt, which really looked too much like “spent.” Due to a rise of anti-consumerism in the world, and possibly due to religious folks and the rise of Indiana Jones (and therefore a fear of snakes), the r and the n got dropped. It then went to spt. In order to clarify that the word was not “spat”, the people in charge of these things decided to add an “e” into the word. Hence, Sept. So we now have September. Which, when you think about it, sounds a lot better than “Serpentember.”

3) There are a number of traditional holidays in September. These include “Welcome Pumpkin Spice” day, held on the day when day and night are equal time. This is held in honor of the traditional vegetable flavor, in partial penance for all the junk eating we will do in the later months. By celebrating a vegetable this month, we pretend to be healthy and soothe our consciences.

So, I have not heard of that holiday. Given that I’m very good friends with Google, are you sure you know correctly about that one?

Positive. I’ve seen it celebrated. There’s even a movie coming out about it!

…I’m still skeptical.

Whatever.

4) All food that is orange gets you double bonus points in September, after the Pumpkin Spice celebration. Fact. Every goldfish cracker is worth twice as many points as it usually is. Same with carrots, pumpkins, fall leaves, and carrot cake frosting.

Now I know you’re making stuff up. Points for foods you eat? What is this? And eating fall leaves? Webmaster, can you please explain what you’re talking about?

…Oh, look at the time.

Well, Happy Last Day of September, folks! I hope you enjoy your orange foods and pumpkin spice, and avoid being bitten by one of the snakes this month was named after. Bye!

Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

…What?

It’s June 13, right? That means that it’s Kitchen Klutzes of America Day! It’s also national juggling day, but I’m going to ignore that. (Although really, who thought of putting those two on the same day? I can’t tell whether that’s genius, or cruel.)

I knew about the holidays. I’m just surprised that you found it before I could write the post! You seemed fairly oblivious to other holidays…

Yeah, well, I didn’t know about it before last night. You see, I was sortof fishing for a post subject. And this looked like it would work!

So. Here’s the post!

How to Celebrate Kitchen Klutzes of America Day

Ok. So I’m sortof figuring this out as I go. I was previously unaware of such a holiday, and so I’ve never celebrated it before. So I’m going to propose ideas for celebrating it, and I want you, fluffsters, to tell me what you think!

From my perspective, there are two different broad ways to celebrate this holiday.

First, if you’re a klutz, take this as a day in celebration of yourself. Second, if you’re not clumsy, show some appreciation for the Kitchen Klutzes.

If you go with the second option, here are a few ideas!

Idea 1: Throw pots, pans, and plates on the ground and against some walls. Nothing says “Kitchen Klutz” like a big huge mess, right? And this way you get to make loud, obnoxious noises! Best of all worlds, right?

Idea 2: Spill every drink you get the first time. So you can get a refill and try not to spill. But the first set of every drink you get, spill it all over!

Idea 3: Make spaghetti for dinner. And maybe French Fries with ketchup and mustard. And chili. And basically anything that stains. And be sure to spill it on yourself. Show solidarity with other Kitchen Klutzes, and understand what they go through on a daily basis!

And now, for celebrating your life as a kitchen klutz.

Idea 1: Cook, and don’t worry about spills! This is your day, after all! If you spill, you’re celebrating!

Idea 2: Make someone else do your cooking. What better way to celebrate being a kitchen klutz than by not making a mess?

Idea 3: Go out for all your meals. Alright, so this is more of “Idea 2b”. But yes. Go out for ALL THE MEALS! You’re a bit clumsy, so take the day off! Don’t be clumsy in the kitchen for an entire day… by avoiding the kitchen! And nobody will think worse of you for it, because it’s your day.

So, Fluffsters, no matter which category is yours, I hope you celebrate “Kitchen Klutzes of America Day” with style.

Doodling Comforts

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Mother’s Day!

Today’s post serves two purposes:

1) What’s more comforting than doodling?

2) What’s more appropriate than a hand-drawn picture for Mother’s Day?

Alright, so technically it’s computer drawn. But yeah.

So, without (much) further ado, a fairy face that I drew. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

face of a fairy, and some wings. And hair with a slight glow

So, she doesn’t look THAT bad. Much higher quality than what I did when I was five!

So, once again. Happy Sunday, and thank you, Mom, for everything you’ve done! I can honestly say I wouldn’t be who I am without you.

Uh, you wouldn’t even be here without her. Much less who you are.

Good point. Anywho, have a great week!

Favorite family stories (NaBloPoMo 5)

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Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone!

In continuation with the BlogHer “write-for-a-month” challenge, I’m going to tell you about another thing I find comfortable.

My Dad is a story-teller. It runs in the family. And there are some stories that we love to hear him tell time after time. It doesn’t matter that we’ve heard them a bajillion times before. It just matters that he’s telling that story. And so, without further ado, I present a retelling of:

The Real Story Behind the May 5 holiday

A long time ago, when Spain was still colonizing the New World, Mexican used to have sandwiches for lunch, every day. They would have turkey sandwiches, ham sandwiches, chicken sandwiches; you name it. If it had meat, they would make a delicious sandwich out of it.

What made these sandwiches so delicious, however, was the wondrous white substance that would be shipped over from the motherland. It was a marvelous substance, that successfully moistened the bread and provided extra flavor. No sandwich was complete without it. One of the wondrous things about the substance was its lasting abilities; it would never go bad. As long as it was in the jar, it was useable.

So the colonists would receive a shipment every year, with enough to last them for a year. And so, every year on 5/5, the yearly shipment would arrive. This day was a celebration amongst the colonists, for frequently they would barely miscalculate, and they would not have perfect sandwiches for the first five days of May.

And then one year, disaster struck. Again on May 5, the citizens were gathered to welcome the shipment. They spied the ship. And there was great rejoicing.

But then, to their utmost dismay, they watched as the ship spontaneously combusted. Somehow, someone had sabotaged their ship. With utmost horror, the citizens watched as the ship, and all its supplies, fell to the bottom of the sea, where the load would forever be irretrievable.

But all was not lost. The colonists learned to make due without sandwiches. And in time, they even looked back on that event with fondness, and created a holiday. And from that day on, a celebration occurred on May 5, to celebrate the sink-o’ de mayo.

…Really?

One of your favorite stories is based on a pun?

Yup!

Anyways, happy Sunday! I hope you have a wonderful week.

“Facts” about Rome: An InfoGraphic

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Happy Foundation of Rome Day!

Oh, you actually got to a Holiday before I could? I’m quite surprised.

Well, it had to happen some time, didn’t it?

Anyways, in light of this momentous anniversary, I have created an Infographic.

Another infographic?

Yup! And I’ve illustrated it and everything!

…I’m a bit worried. So, an infographic. What’s it about?

“Facts” about Rome.

… That you may have created on the spot?

Of course!

But without further ado, here it is:

An infographic about Rome that discusses how old Rome is relative to Star Wars, how the Romans were inspired by The Hunger Games, Roman Food, and how Romulus's twin was teleported into Harry Potter World

Happy Something-Thousand-and-something Birthday, Rome!

Yup, further reading definitely required.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: how do you even come up with this stuff?!

What? I didn’t even touch on some of the weird stuff.

That wasn’t- oh, nevermind. Happy Sunday, readers!

Yup, Happy Sunday everyone! I hope you have a great day!

Major Changes

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Greetings, readers!

I have an announcement to make.

At Total Fluff, Fluffy McGiggles and I have been realizing that there’s a problem: Too many words.

Because of this, we have decided to mime everything from now on.

Here is an example of what sorts of riveting posts you can expect from us in the future. (I, the Webmaster, am clearly Purple. Fluffy McGiggles is green. With envy, I’m sure.)

Hey!

What, breaking the miming already?

…

So, as I was saying, here is an example post:

The Webmaster & Fluffy McGiggles mime a post.

Happy Monday, everyone!
And happy April Fool’s Day!

College Websites.

How College Websites are Scary

Using A College Website as Halloween Decorations

Fun Facts You Never Knew About September

How to Celebrate Kitchen Klutzes of America Day

The Real Story Behind the May 5 holiday

Legends about St. Patrick’s Day

Everyone Needs to Wear Green

St. Patrick’s Day is a failure if you don’t get Drunk

Leprechauns hide their pots of gold at the end of rainbows