Category Archives: conspiracy

Book Osmosis

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Hiya, Fluffsters!

A friend posed an interesting question to me…

Why do we think exclusively about learning from osmosis?

Because, seriously… I know more than most textbooks. Just not necessarily about that specific topic the books is talking about.

For example, fantasy worlds. I know a LOT more about theoretical constructs of magical forms than I do of anything related to biology, for example. So why don’t the textbooks remove some of my fantasy knowledge (which they do not have) and replace it with some of their knowledge of their subject?

OR…. IS THAT WHY OSMOSIS DOESN’T WORK? Is it maybe because the rules of osmosis look at total knowledge, and decide that the amount of knowledge makes up for it? So, I know more about the book than some things, the book knows more than I do about other things, so net we’re balanced?!

Any thoughts?

The Greedo Conspiracy

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Hello, Fluffsters!

So, I found out something a couple of days ago. Apparently, there’s a recently discovered type of Catfish. And it’s been named after the Star Wars character Greedo, because of similarities of appearances.

Of course, now I’m wondering… What if this is all some sort of plot with Star Wars to make science more interesting? So, suppose that scientists actually found this type of catfish decades ago, and George Lucas based Greedo on the fish. And then the scientists are only now revealing the existence of the fish, so that people are a) more interested in the discovery because it looks like a Star Wars character, and 2) make it less likely anybody would discover the conspiracy?

I blame the rainbows. They’re devious like that. But I’m onto your tricks! Your sith mind tricks won’t work on me, rainbows!

Let me get this straight… rainbows are sith now?

Well, do you have proof that they aren’t?

Anyways, Fluffsters, have a good day. Don’t eaten by a catfish, a space alien, or a rainbow, ok?

Why Snacks Keep Disappearing- it’s a Conspiracy!

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Fluffsters, we have… a problem.

Oh, not again.

I know, right? It’s like you can’t go even a minute without there being some sort of problem in the world!

The problems of your world are not what I was referring to…

You mean to tell me you’re not actually upset by the problems of the world? Isn’t that a bit selfish of you?

But I digress. I was talking about a PROBLEM I recently encountered.

You see, it has to do with snacks and snack foods. I recently received a package of white-chocolate-covered-pretzels. I opened them, and only had a few, and the next thin I knew, a majority of them had disappeared! I compared notes with a friend who likes goldfish, and she mentioned that she had a similar problem. So I started to think about how things disappear.

Recently, my friend and I have just had this problem with goldfish and pretzels. So we’ve discovered explanations.

The goldfish were fairly easy to understand. They clearly just swim away when you’re not paying attention.

…Clearly.

The pretzels were a little bit harder to figure out. But Fluffsters all, I’ve FOUND THE SOLUTION. They fall through their own holes, and get LOST.

THAT means that somewhere… THERE ARE A BAJILLION PRETZEL SNACKS FLOATING AROUND FOR THE CLAIMING!

…

…Anybody want to help me find this magical place?

Rainbows are Being Suspicious

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Fluffsters, we have a problem.

Just one, this time?

At least one. I’m not actually sure how many problems we have. For, you see, the rainbows, well…

Oh, no. Not the Rainbow Conspiracy again?

Of course it’s the rainbows again! I don’t rant about much else.

And I have a very worthy rant about the Rainbows. You see, Fluffsters, they’re on to me.

…I do not want to promote this type of thinking, but what do you mean, “they are on to you”?

Exactly what I wrote! They know that I know about them! It’s been practically forever since I’ve caught them at something! In fact, I haven’t caught them at anything since my last post about them!

Webmaster, just to clarify- you are writing a post because rainbows have done nothing recently?

Of course! It’s suspicious, I tell you! Very suspicious!

I… see.

…Really?

No.

That was sarcasm.

Oh.

Well, just you watch. They’re up to something. And they’re covering their tracks, or disappearing when I’m around, so that I can’t catch them at it!

Fluffsters, I hope you have a good Monday, and survive this week. Good luck.

Creeper Rainbow: Illustrated

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In honor of my Stalker Rainbow showing himself to me again yesterday-

OH NO. NOT your crazy conspiracy about how rainbows are creepers again?

…I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

AS I was saying. In honor of him showing himself to me, I drew a picture of him. That way if he attacks me, I’ll be able to report him to the police, and already have the pictures for the wanted poster available.

Creepy Stalker Rainbow waiting to POUNCE!

He’s hiding in a TOTALLY inconspicuous way, so that he can POUNCE!

You’ve got to be the only one…

Who makes wanted posters? That’s not true! There are over 22,000 people searching for “wanted poster” templates! So, my wanted poster can’t be out of the ordinary.

An old-west styled wanted poster for the Stalker Rainbow

Wainted: For General Creepiness

Uh… I was referring to your referring to rainbows as “creepy.” And drawing creepy rainbow pictures.

Now that is definitely not true. First, that picture isn’t that creepy, except for the rainbow in it. Even so, I couldn’t help but cute-ify him a bit.

Second, there are search results for creepy rainbow pictures. (A lot of them are a lot creepier than that picture. So I don’t suggest doing it.

…So why did you look in the first place?

Empirical evidence against your position?

…I guess that actually makes sense.

Anyways, Fluffsters, happy Thursday! Just think, it’s almost the weekend!

Who thought of: Aloe?

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Hello, Fluffsters! Happy Monday!

Today, I’m going to go a bit more contemplative, and examine one of the big questions in life.

Wow! You’re actually going against the grain of no content for TotalFluff?

No more so than usual. And significantly less so than many of your posts.

So here it goes. My question is:

Who on Earth even discovered the use of Aloe?

I mean, think about it. It’s a plant, where the main benefit comes from the inside of a leaf. It’s a weird looking plant, too. Sort of like a waxy fern. (Minus the leaves.) The inside of the leaves is what is useful, as I already said, but it tastes absolutely nasty. (Judging from the times I’ve accidentally not washed my hands thoroughly enough between putting aloe on my skin and eating an apple.)

According to some websites, some animals do eat aloe. But one bite with the aloe flavor, and any person should have preferred starvation to consuming any of that nastiness. In my opinion. Even if not, that still doesn’t answer the question. Who decided it was a good idea to smear the inside of plant-leaves on our skin? It doesn’t even smell nice!

My current hypothesis is that aloes are actually a space-plant, brought over by the aliens currently hiding in Area 51. Clearly they would have told ancient humans how to use the plant properly, and this is just further proof that rainbows are conspiring against us with the governments of the world to take away all the cookies. But what do you think, Fluffsters? How do you think we discovered the proper use of aloe?

Just when I think things are getting normal… If you don’t want to answer the Webmaster’s question, here’s a different one to answer: Why do you think the Webmaster always has to create new conspiracy theories?