Category Archives: Book Review

Book Review (and Top Lessons Learned): Pride & Prejudice

I recently came across a classic work from your world: a book called “Pride and Prejudice”.

Oh, yes! I love that one!

Huh.

I found it… interesting.

I’m suddenly fairly sure I don’t want to know what you think of it…

Tough.

Without further ado, here are some of the top lessons I learned from Pride and Prejudice.

Lessons from Pride and Prejudice

First

If you have wealthy acquaintances, you can get away with anything. I mean, just look at Mr. Wickham. He goes into debt, and Mr. Darcy pays that off. He tries to behave immorally with Mr. Darcy’s sister, and he gets paid off. He takes advantage of a 16 year old girl, and again goes into debt, and Mr. Darcy again pays off his debts. Mr. Darcy doesn’t even like the guy, but Mr. Wickham pays none of the consequences for his actions. So clearly, if you’ve once known someone who is wealthy, you can get away with anything by blaming all wrong on your wealthy acquaintance.

But Mr. Darcy was doing it out of love for Elizabeth! It would have been a disgrace to let Elizabeth’s sister bring such shame upon herself and her family.

Exactly.

Second:

It doesn’t matter how horrible someone is on the outside. Deep down, if a person is really an arrogant, prideful person, there’s actually someone inside who’s a kind, considerate, and compassionate person. Never mind the fact that it’s totally different from how you’ve ever seen that person before. Yes, I’m talking about Mr. Darcy here. Ok, so in the Bennets’ home town, Darcy is described as not very pleasant. And everything that we see points to that fact. The only thing going for him is that he’s rich. But suddenly, after he comes out, professes his love for Elizabeth, and is rejected, he magically transforms. Except, you later find out, the transformation isn’t magical. According to the housekeeper, who’s known him since he was 4, he’s always been a charming boy, and always very nice.

Really? So why does this not come across anywhere else? Or anytime before that?

But, it’s romantic. And I’m sure there are hints that he’s nice in the book! It’s just that you’re looking at it through Lizzy’s perspective. And she sees only the bad, and so therefore the reader sees only the bad.

That may be the case, but the author should still have given us a bit of a heads up that he’s actually not the most conceited, arrogant, prideful, uptight gentleman in existence. Or that if he is, there is some worthwhile quality within him.

But, but-

Third:

Your history with a man doesn’t matter, as long as he’s rich. It’s only after Elizabeth Bennet sees his lovely home, and how expensive it is and what sort of society she could enter, that her attitude starts to soften towards the idea of marrying him. Alright, so she also sees his “true character”, but you can look at my second point for my thoughts on that.

Fourth:

“Negging” is a good way to get a girl. (Heads up: Slightly foul language in this xkcd explanation of “negging”.) Mr. Darcy starts off by belittling Elizabeth. This makes Elizabeth feel slightly inferior. When Darcy comes out and professes his love, she at first is (rightfully) indignant that he would think that she would love him. But then, as she stops to think about it, she’s flattered by the attention of someone so superior to her. Negging.

Fifth:

It’s ok to totally mess up someone’s life, as long as you’re friends. Again, Darcy. He almost totally ruined Mr. Bingley’s life. Mr. Bingley was in love with Jane. Jane was in love with Mr. Bingley. Mr. Darcy comes along and persuades Mr. Bingley that Jane didn’t really love him. (Wuss for believing it…) And then, when Mr. Darcy finds out that Jane is in love with him he… still doesn’t say anything. It’s not for quite a while after that Mr. Darcy starts to rectify the mistake. But that’s ok! Mr. Bingley is still friends with him, and trusts his ideas implicitly! Hooray for friendship and trust, never mind the fact that so totally trusting that person led to a great deal of unneeded pain! Because we’re friends!

That’s certainly an interesting view of the book.

Readers, please note that I do not necessarily agree with everything that Fluffy said.

Suit yourself. Anyways, what do you think of Pride and Prejudice?

Avoid mistakes like this when writing a book.

So, I’m reading a book-

How wonderful!

Not funny, Fluffy.

Anyways, as I was saying, I’m reading a book about World War 2. The authors just wrote about why the relationship between Churchill, Roosevelt, and Stalin started to get very anxious. And then, at the beginning of a paragraph, the authors present this gem: “It is almost impossible to underestimate the importance of this moment in the history of the Alliance.” Yes. Underestimate.

Friends, if you ever write a book, make sure you don’t accidentally use the antonym of the word you meant. That can, like, totally undermine the meaning of what you’re trying to say.

So, just to clarify two things… a) the authors just said that nothing is less important than what they just wrote about…

Right. They clearly meant to say “overestimate”.

Second, you actually posted something almost useful?

Hey!

Anyways, have you come across any unintentionally hilarious books recently?

Book Review: Dealing with Dragons

Just to make sure I don’t make a tradition, I’m reviewing one of my favorite books today. 🙂

That sounds dangerous…

Dealing with Dragons is actually well written! And intentionally funny.

As opposed to…?

Alibi Jr. High, for example. Basically, books that are so bad that they are funny.

Ah.

But yes. Dealing with Dragon, by Patricia C. Wrede, is intentionally whimsical. It starts off with Princess Cimorene becoming a dragon’s princess.

I should have known. Let me guess, some knight in shining armor comes and rescues her? Typical fairy-tale fluff?

Well, sort of. Actually, Cimorene volunteers to be the Dragon’s princess. It’s a way for her to escape being normal. So the knights come, but she sends them away. And other stuff. It’s brilliant!

I guess I’ll take your word for it…

No, really! And there are amazing characters. For example, there’s the princes Alianora who’s also a dragon’s princess, but also not quite normal. For example, apparently at Alianora’s christening, an evil fairy comes-

-and curses her? That’s actually fairly common.

No. She doesn’t. And things keep on going not-quite-normally for that princess. It’s amusing.

Also, the Society of Wizards are the badguys. And Wtiches are the goodguys. (Not evil witches, of course, which do exist. No, there are some that are just magically inclined, and have their own natural magic which makes them witches. They’re nice.) And furthermore, witches can’t be melted but- Oh, I’m not going to spoil it for you. You should totally read it. And the sequels. Basically, Wrede does a masterful job of taking fairy-tale elements and twisting them. In other words I highly recommend it.

It twists traditional fairy-tales? I might actually like it, then… Maybe some day I’ll be able to read it.

If you can, you should!

Anyways, have a great day!

Book Review: “Alibi: Jr. High”

My family & I are all bibliophiles. I seriously love to read. I especially enjoy fantasy, sci-fi, and sometimes generic “fluff” fiction. (Not romantic fluff. Eww. But books that have minimal content-value.)

Just last summer, I was in a Crown Books Store, and I came across a fantastic gem of a book. And decided that it was well worth the $8 the book store was asking for. Seriously, one look at the cover and I was sold.

The cover of the book Alibi Jr High

Book cover of Alibi Junior High

I know that they say “don’t judge a book by its cover”, but seriously? That cover just about says it all. “Alibi Junior High”, with a picture of a kid dressed like what Americans assume spies look like? Priceless.

Just to confirm that it would be as ridiculous as it appeared on the outside, I did start to read it. And oh my word. It was so unintentionally hilarious.

The first sentence: “I hate airports.” Yes. It was first person. And clearly trying to be dramatic.

On the next page, while still describing airports, and this (presumably spy) is going through the airport checking for potential threats, the phrase “It’s one huge, emotional paper shredder” appeared. How can you say “no” to a book like that?

And it keeps getting better and better. (Or worse and worse, if you’re looking for high quality writing.)

We discover that Cody, the main character of the book, is a thirteen year old boy who has been living with his father, and participating in clandestine operations all over the world. And, as he tells his aunt who he ends up living with due to odd circumstances, his “English and math skills are on a college level”, he speaks five different languages, has two black belts, has been to “every corner of the globe”, and he’s been in “more dangerous situations in any given month than most [Junior Highers] have been in their whole lives.” And now this kid is trying to go to Junior High, and trying to fit in, in order to stay undercover while his dad takes care of something.

Needless to say, it goes painfully on from there. This boy is “perfect”, except for knowing how to fit in. He knows more than his teachers about all of his subjects (it seems), he’s able to out-sneak a special-ops military man who’s home after being wounded, ends up sorting out the PE Coach’s bullying problem, starts a martial-arts / defense club, gets kidnapped (of course) and then manages to save the day. Oh, and he starts wearing fancy, expensive suits to school (while trying to stay undercover) because it’s what he’s accustomed to wearing.

Yeah.

Anyways, I discovered that it was a hilarious read. Most especially, it was a fantastically hilarious “read-aloud.”

If you’re looking for a laugh, melodrama, and totally unbelievable fluff, I highly recommend Alibi Junior High. Especially if you can get it at a major discount.

Have a great week!