Monthly Archives: February 2013

Pet Products

Your world… It has weird priorities.

You’ve mentioned… What sparks the comment this time?

How your world treats pets. If you have money, anyways.

I mean, never mind the earrings or staples from your first post. How about spending $4 million for a dog tiara?

Hmm. That is a bit pricy…

Agreed.

But the thing that bothers me the most, is how on earth did that one dude train his dog to submit to a retinal scanner?

So, people are spending thousands, even millions of dollars on their pets, and the thing that bothers you is training the dog?

I think it’s official; you’re hopeless.

…

Anyways, readers, Happy Monday! Have a great week.

The anti-phoenix, and creatures of the “elements”

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I’ve read a lot of fantasy books. Like, a lot of fantasy. And one of the things you can’t help but pick up, if you read the right sort, is the use of Greek Classical “Elements” applied to magic. (Earth, air, fire, & water.)

Now, sometimes creatures get classified by their elements as well. So, birds are usually air, fish are clearly water, dragons & lizards are fire, and most other animals are earth.

Sometimes, at least in my mind, those can mix. A swan, or other sea-bird, might be both air & water aligned. That sort of thing.

That got me thinking: A phoenix is supposedly a fire-bird. That means that it would be both fire and air. So what would be its antithesis? The “anti-phoenix”?

I’ve been considering, and I think it would definitely be the duck-billed platypus.

What?

Yes, the duck-billed platypus. And here’s why:

First of all, for an animal to be an anti-phoenix, it would need to have opposite alignment. A phoenix is fire & air. The opposite of fire is water, and the opposite of air is earth. So we need an earth/water creature. That leaves land-animals that can live in the water, or water-animals that can live on the land. A duck-billed platypus fits the bill. So do otters, beavers, and mermaids. So we need to find other reasons.

Next: phoenixes don’t actually exist in this world. Neither do mermaids. So that strikes mermaids from the possible, leaving otters, beavers, and our friend the duck-billed platypus.

Also, phoenixes are graceful. Elegant. Beautiful. So are otters. Duck-billed platypuses are not. That should strike otters from the list. That still leaves beavers, though.

Another reason: there are a number of places and things named after the Phoenix. Phoenix, AZ, for example. And the University of Phoenix. There’s a Beaver County in Pennsylvania. But alas for the poor duck-billed platypus, I am unaware of any county, city, or non-platypus-y thing named for the Duck-Billed Platypus. (Perry the Platypus doesn’t count; he’s a platypus.) That strikes the beaver from our list.

Even if that didn’t work, there’s another trump card. If the best birdwatcher in the world were to hear the word “phoenix” for the first time, s/he wouldn’t automatically assume that a phoenix was a bird of any sort. On the other hand, the Duck-Billed Platypus has the word “duck” in it. The name implies duck like tendencies. But, it’s not a bird! Neither is the beaver, but the beaver doesn’t imply “bird” with its name.

Clearly, then, the duck-billed platypus is the anti-phoenix. And the two should likely be mortal enemies.

You do realize you’ve given way too much thought to a subject that doesn’t matter, right?

…

Anywho, have a great day!

Work in Progress…

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This week, I’ve been missing my puppies. So I tried to crochet one.

Crocheted Critter in progress

I see you failed…

Yeah. I’m still not sure what creature it’s going to be. I think it’s coming out cute, though! And if I add some wings, ears, maybe a horn-

And maybe the rest of the body?

Yeah! That too! I knew I could count on you to keep me honest. Thank you, Fluffy!

…

Anyways, I’m actually even writing down what I’m doing!

Normally, when I create my own patterns, they’re genuinely one of a kind. In other words, I play around with the pattern, and then sort of forget what I’ve done. But not this time!

In fact, I hope that I’ll even be able to upload the pattern here! Then you could download it!

True, they could… But who’d want to?

Hey!

It’s fluffy, and it’s cute, right? That means, who wouldn’t want to?

People who don’t know how to crochet?

Fair enough. Well, that’s sort of a moot point right now, anyways. I still do need to finish the critter!

So, thoughts: What does it look like it’s turning into right now? More bird-like? Seahorse? Dragon? Generic critter…?

My Favorite Ways to Procrastinate

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Haha! I’ve finally beaten Fluffy to a Daily Fluff again.

Anyways, hello!

I’m sure most of you are human. As such, I’m also fairly sure that you sometimes want a way to ~~procrastinate~~ do something that may help you avoid doing something tedious that you probably ought to be doing. Or maybe you just need a way to take your mind off of stuff, and laugh. Well, I’m here to help you find some good ways to do that!

First of all, one of my favorite blogs: Cakewrecks. This is a blog devoted to cakes.

Cakes. How enthralling.

No need to be sarcastic, Fluffy. These aren’t just any cakes. No. These are Cakes that have been professionally made, but look… less than perfect. Or are just bizarre. (There are some very well done cakes that are just odd. Trust me.) I know it may not sound like a normal way to spend time, and it’s not! It’s funny and awesome. There have been several times that I’ve burst out laughing. Not only are the cakes amusing, but the commentary is phenomenal.

If you’ve already seen Cakewrecks and are caught up, one of the webcomics that I follow is Darths & Droids. This is especially for Star Wars & Gaming fans. The background is also quite amusing: What if Star Wars were actually a role play game, where none of the players knew about the universe? They start off with Phantom Menace, and are (as of right now) in the process of going through New Hope. This is another hilarious way to spend time. Seriously, there have been times I’ve about died of laughter. (Be sure to read the comments right after the comic. The creators give “tips” on how to run a RPG.)

In the category of “cute”, cuteoverload is always a good choice. I mean really, who can say no to pictures of adorable animals?

Do they have pictures of Horpadies?

I’ve never even heard of those. So no. What are they?

You don’t have Horpadies on your world? What a shame. They’re the cutest creature known to our world. They’re small, fuzzy, have these hugely oversized wings, and are known to melt people’s hearts. If they can be tamed, they make great pets. Of course, if they aren’t tamed they’re amazing predators.

Oh. We have something similar. They don’t have wings, and they aren’t always good pets, but they’re called “Polar Bear Cubs.” Or maybe “wolf puppies.” I think that site has some pictures and videos of both.

Back to the more geeky, another webcomic that my sister introduced me to is Girl Genius. This is a steampunk style amazing comic. First of all, it’s all about mad scientists. How can you beat that? Second, it totally brings to life a new world, with different cultures. There are monsters that have to have the right hat (and speak in a definite accent), there’s a castle that is alive and has an evil sense of humor, and there’s one scene that is about coffee. In a hilarious, “oh my heavens I need to read that again” sort of way. And the art is also phenomenal. Heads up, it takes a little bit to get into, but it’s well worth it. And they’re still updating every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So that’s a plus. (Or a minus, depending on whether you prefer reading a finished story, or there still being more to read.)

Last for today, again in the category of “cute”, Simon’s Cat videos are also amazing. I’ve never owned a cat, but I’ve been around enough to realize that these animated shorts fully capture the epitome of “cat”. And they’re just darling. I think I watched “Let Me In” multiple times in a row the first time I saw it. It’s absolutely priceless.

I hope you find something to help keep you entertained!

Happy Ferris Wheel Day!

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Hello again, everyone!

I hope you’re having a fantastic Ferris Wheel Day!

Uh, Fluffy? Don’t you mean “Valentine’s Day”?

Of course! It’s the same thing.

Wait, WHAT?

You waited too long to write today’s fluff, so it’s my turn. And I’m talking about today, this Valentines / Ferris Wheel day.

I’ve done some research on today, and apparently on this day, George Washington Ferris, Jr., creator of the Ferris Wheel, was born.

Now, it seems as though he was quite the man. Not only does he have his own invention and day, but it’s also one of the more commercially celebrated days. And you gave it a new name, because really, who wants to say “Happy George Washington Ferris, Jr., Day!”? Nobody, that’s who. I haven’t done the research, since I’m throwing this together last minute since The Webmaster didn’t actually write up a post like she promised…

I was busy, ok? And I don’t think that’s rig-

but I’m guessing that George Washington Ferris, Jr., in order to get some anonymity, (and to make it a bit less of a mouthful) changed his name to Valentine.

From what I can tell, his invention is quite the lovebirds’ hideaway. (Benches the perfect size for two people? A potentially romantic view? You bet!)

I’m guessing his invention made a number of women smile with delight on dates, thus making both them and the men call him a saint.

And now, to this day, you celebrate “St. Valentine’s Day”, and celebrate love as well. That’s so sweet! I love your world.

Fluffy, that’s wrong. I don’t care what you think, you need to do more research, because that’s not the story of Valentine’s Day at a-

So, go out and enjoy a Ferris Wheel for me, ok? And have a very happy Ferris Wheel Day.

Holidays from Fluffy’s World

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One thing that I slightly miss from back home is our own “Prank Candy” day.

Oh?

Yes. It’s right around now, actually. It was a time of giving out things that look delicious, but really aren’t. It’s interesting.

You see, every year, on what would be the equivalent of February 14th for you, we all gave out real candies to everyone, as a sign of how glad we are that each person existed. So it was the unofficial rule that for every real candy set you gave to a person of the opposite gender, you also needed to give them a not sweet tasting “candy.” That way it balanced out, so it kept it obvious that you didn’t like a person in “that” way.

Ah. Interesting balance there…

Yes, it was rather interesting. And of course, you never tell the person which is the real sweet, and which is the prank sweet. It was a fantastic time.

Isn’t that sort of mean, though?

Not at all! We all found it hilarious. And actually, it’s a great opportunity to try to figure out some interesting flavor combinations. The trick is to try not to actually poison the recipient. Just startle them.

My brother was an expert at this.

Wait, you have a brother?

Of course. Fuzzy McGiggles. But that’s beside the point.

The point is that he was a genius. Seriously. That’s where the Cayenne Cookies first made their appearance.

And there was this one time that he made a hilarious fudge type thing. It looked like fudge. It felt like fudge. And he managed to throw in enough mint that it smelled like the perfect mint fudge. It was actually some sort of Rabbit Stew mixed with flour. It was absolutely nasty!

Rabbit Stew Fudge? GROSS!

It actually wouldn’t have been too bad, if I’d known to expect it. But as I said, he was the master at hiding food. And the peppermint fudge that he’d actually made more than made up for it.

But seriously, this isn’t what your February 14th is about?

No. We give normal chocolates. Or other sweet things. You know, as symbolism for how sweet the recipient is, or something.

Ah. Well, I guess different worlds do things different ways. But that’s an absolute pity. I have some amazing ways to modify recipes… Speaking of which, when are you going to update your recipes?

After hearing about your tendencies to make evil food? I think I’ll not be telling you.

Darn.

Anyways, have a great day, everyone! And may you always find the trick foods.

Even more weird traditions.

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From what I can gather, your world makes a rather big deal out of February 14th, correct?

You could say that. It’s a time of love, romance, and chocolate. 🙂

So, why are sewers so special on this day?

What?

You can read. I asked why are sewers so special on this day?

Uh… I honestly have no clue, Fluffy. What are you talking about?

Apparently, in your world, it’s popular to take a loved one on a tour of a sewage treatment plant on Valentine’s day. I don’t quite get it.

Me neither. In fact, I think I could probably have lived very happily without knowing such a thing existed…

You’re welcome. Just doing my job.

Anyways, have a great day!

Ichabod Nickname

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As I mentioned in the FAQ section, I sometimes like going around asking people questions.

Last Friday, the question was, “If you were named Ichabod Eichenberger or Ichenberger, what would your nickname be?”

I hope you intended to make that name sound as ridiculous as possible…

Of course. Please, give me some credit. Although to be fair, I didn’t actually come up with that name; a writer friend of mine did. She’s really talented!

I… see.

Anyways, as I was saying, I randomly asked some friends that on Friday. Here are some of their responses:

Embrace it, and not bother with a nickname. After all, if you do have a name like Ichabod Eichenberger, who is actually going to use your nickname? (Which is a fair point.)

Crane. (Clearly in reference to Ichabod Crane)

Bob. And before you ask, my favorite form of public execution is… (Don’t ask about the last part).

Icky. No, wait: Eichy. (Pronounced Ikey.)

Personally, I think the last person succeeded in making a nickname that sounds fairly reasonable. Almost cute, even!

So that means, alas, that my one friend has not quite succeeded in creating a name that has no shortenable form. I guess she’ll need to try harder next time.

How about you, though? What nickname would you choose? Or what is one name that you can think of that has absolutely no decent shortenable form?

Selections from the Ballad of Blood-Berringer

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Hello, everyone!

As I’m sure you remember from yesterday, the Webmaster challenged me to write a blog post with more words than what she has been using the past several Daily Fluffs.

Because of this, I am going to share a little bit about my life back home. As I mentioned previously, I was a melodramatic actress, born and raised into a family of the finest actors and actresses in the world.

Actually, now that I stop to think about it, every sane person said so.

Really? I find that hard to believe.

No, it’s true! Any critic who said otherwise was quickly found to be insane. And they usually stopped writing shortly after that.

What? How did you arrange that?

Why do you expect me to know why they’d suddenly lose interest in writing? I know nothing worthy of a blog post!

But anyways.

Before I was sidetracked, I was talking a bit about my childhood. I was always raised on the classics, such as The Ballad of Blood-Berringer. Much to my surprise, this world doesn’t have any versions of it on the web! So today, my dear readers, you may count yourselves among the blessed! I am going to share some selections from The Ballad of Blood-Berringer, possibly one of the oldest stories from my world!

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The Ballad of Blood-Berringer

Blood-Berringer the Bold and Brave
Sought Fallidyne the Fair
Who’d been abducted by a knave
Who loved her golden hair.

How did he so abduct the maid?
Ah, that we’d like to know.
The story’s writ’ on scrolls of jade,
And that great tale we’ll show.

The Knave Ralfickger loved her hair
As mentioned previously,
And so made plans to woo her there
In that land by the sea.

This is where me and my family would usually come out onstage, and start acting out the parts that were to be read aloud. Needless to say, I usually played Fallidyne the Fair. It fit me.

Conceited much?

Very funny. Just because I’m already significantly above your word-count, and wouldn’t need to include more selections to win the challenge?

Anyways. I loved the tale. It goes on. My favorite part happens shortly after, when, oh, but I don’t want to ruin it for you…

So Ralfickger traversed the land
Until he found her lair,
And asked her father for her hand,
While at her hair he stared.

Wait, did you seriously just try to rhyme “lair” with stared

…Um, it’s a translation? Anyways, the part where I faint on stage is coming up. That’s Important Webmaster! I need to share it! Never mind things like rhymes!

Fine, do what you want. Your “daily fluff”, after all…

Thank you. You’re too generous. Now as I was quoting…

“I love Fallidyne’s hair so gold
Now let her be my wife!
If she’s not mine by morning cold
I promise endless strife!”

Fair Fallidyne knew she would die
If she were made his mate,
And so she on the floor did lie
For she had become faint.

“Oh please, just take my hair!” said she.
“For ‘tis not worth my life!”
“But ‘tis not fair when not with thee,
So I’ll take thee to wife!”

And with a mighty lunge or two
Ralfickger kidnapped her
And dashed out of the hall and through
The doors; ‘twas just a blur!

It goes on from there, and is definitely one of the most beloved tales back home. Anyone who says otherwise is plainly insane.

And then they quickly stop writing afterwards?

Of course not! They’re just plainly insane! Webmaster, you don’t honestly think that all insane people who dislike stories lose their love of writing, do you?

Honestly, it’s only the ones who don’t like our versions of the performances who decided it wasn’t worth writing anymore.

I… see. Well. Anywho. Moving on…

Of course.

Anyways, as I was saying, that was definitely one of the most popular stories back home. It’s a fantastic tale of abductions, knights, knaves, and more.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this section! I hope to eventually translate the entire thing into this language, and then upload it into this site. It will be glorious!

And anyone who says otherwise is plainly insane?

Exactly.

Anyways, thank you for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day.

Fluffy Snow!

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Snow is delightfully fluffy. Especially when it falls in large flakes. As I’m writing this, it looks like I’m in a world of a snowglobe.

Seriously. It’s gorgeous.

Tree and large snow flakes.

And another:

Snow, tree, and building

So, let me guess. Going off of the logic from Thursday, this qualifies as an over two-thousand word post, rather than less than 100?

You bet!

You know, sometimes I think you’re just lazy.

And other times, I know you’re just lazy.

I’d like to see you do any better, madam McGiggles! Especially when an annoying entity is making snide remarks every few sentences!

I already have. Have you seen my previous posts?

Nonetheless, your challenge is accepted. Tomorrow, I’ll do the “Fluff” again. And rest assured, it will actually have text.

Hm. I’m not sure that’s quite what I meant to do…

Too late. I’m planning out my post already.

Well, see you again tomorrow, folks!

On the bright side, I guess that means I’ll get to make snide remarks. 🙂

If I can…

Anyways, have a great day, and thanks for reading! I’ll see you soon!