Monthly Archives: January 2013

Public Service Announcement

Greetings, readers!

I have a public service announcement: I have glow in the dark silly putty.

That is all. Thank you.

Wait, that’s it?

All that build-up, and no content?

Well, this website is called ‘total fluff’. But since you asked…

Shoot. I did not mean to do that…

Here are some picture!

 

glow-in-the-dark silly putty

Alien Ooze Smart Mass Thinking Putty

 

lots of glow-in-the-dark silly putty

LOTS of putty!

Horse's Head of Putty

Horse’s Head of Putty. Really.

Isn’t it awesome? If you want your own, you can get it from Thinkgeek.com

Thank you for looking! Have a great day. 🙂

That was what you made a ‘public service announcement about?

Ok, for the record, I officially do not know the Webmaster. I’ve never met her face to face. Thank you for your attention.

Have a great day!

Legends from the Past

I have decided. I need some genuine content, not just the mindless fluff the Webmaster has forced upon me. For this reason, I will tell you a legend from my world.

Let’s see, that will be <?php
$story = get_file_data(…

Legends from the Past

Once upon a time in a land far away a family discovered The Secret: a contraption, hidden in the deep. None knew how to work the device.

S’Ranya, the 16 year old daughter of the patriarch, was at the time blessed with the Sight of Knowledge. Upon the mysterious contraption’s discovery, she Saw part of its hidden secrets and knowledge. What she Saw was enough. Over it she pronounced a prophecy, and swore her family to its secrecy and protection.

For the fulfillment of this task, S’Ranya also studied the art of chest making. Study, she did, and to this talent she devoted much time. She worked to perfect the skill, and created boxes and chests of magic, beauty, and history.

Treasure Chest

One of S’Ranya’s Treasure Chests

In time, the Sight of Knowledge left her, and she married him of whom she had dreamed while the Sight was yet upon her.

And later, when the time was right, she bore a girl. This child, it was found, also had the Sight. For this reason, S’Ranya told taught her of the Secret, and trained her in the art of Making. Her daughter too then made the chests of magic, history, and secrecy until that time when the Sight left her as well.

And so it continued. Mother taught Daughter, and the entire family guarded the device. So it continued for 700 years.

~*~

In the day S’Ranjella of the line of S’Ranya came into her heritage, the Knowledge of the Contraption was revealed unto her in an intensity never before experienced.

She knew, even before her Mother’s instructions, what the Secret was. Further she saw what its purpose was, and that the time of the fulfillment of the prophecy was at hand.

With the Sight of Knowledge to guide her, S’Ranjella unbound the magical chests of her heritage, and revealed the device to her family. With it, she also revealed the full prophecy, for the time was right.

prophetic scroll

The Prophecy of the Line of S’Ranya

Of the coming end of their world, she spoke, and of the way to preserve the World’s history, and their family. The Secret had revealed all this.

On this topic she explained and instructed further. For the past 700 years, the device had remained dormant. In but a few hours, fueled by the approach of impending doom, the contraption would activate. It was a portal to another world, or maybe many worlds. Once the portal was open, then, the Family would escape the Doom of the World.

When the portal opened, S’Ranjella instructed, the members of her entire family were to take a quantity of their heritage of boxes, the boxes of history, magic, and safety, and enter through the portal. The portal would transport them Somewhere, to a place away from their World. Once they reached their new Home, in the Worlds Beyond, the family was to place an Item into each of the chests. The Item must be from their new world, for that would tie their family, and their heritage of treasure chests, to their new homes.

Upon receipt of the item, S’Ranjella further instructed, each chest was to be hidden away.  In time, their families would integrate into society, and the location of the chests would be forgotten, and stored only in memory, lore, and maybe maps. With this, the Family would live, as would the heritage of History, Magic, and Beauty of their world. All this S’Ranjella revealed unto her family.

What she did not reveal was the individual fates of each member of her family or the chests. She had not told them that they would never see each other again, for the portal would transport them to different worlds; different universes, even.

Once there, her family would use their skills for a good purpose. The sword-smiths of her families would equip noble adventurers and the magicians would heal many. From each of them would come a hero who would be inevitably drawn towards the chests, filled with magic from both Worlds of the hero’s heritage. This magic and heritage would call to him or her, and would serve a need of some sort.

With great sorrow in their hearts, for the end of the World was coming, S’Ranjella’s family followed these instructions. They found the many chests of their heritage, and went through the portal, one set of immediate family members at a time.

Finally, at the end, S’Ranjella looked up at the sky from whence the Doom would come, and followed, last of all.

 ~*~

In a universe far away, a child played a computer game. The protagonist in the game came across a treasure chest, and received an item. The hero in the world paused for a split second, and admired the chest. It was a thing of beauty, and before founding it, the thing had seemed to call to the hero. The protagonist touched the box lightly, and paused to remember the legends of the Treasures, and of the travelers from beyond the stars. Rumor had it that they were related.

Even though unsure of the truth of the matter, the hero reflected, and thanked whoever had hidden the chests for their generous gifts.

Thank you for reading! I feel a lot better for having some genuine content, not just fluff and nonsense.

“Not just fluff and nonsense”? Fluffy, you’re talking about portals to another world, there’s no dialogue, and you call this not “fluff and nonsense”?

Of course. This is a legend from my world. How could it be fluff and nonsense?

You’re talking about portals to another world.

I really fail to see what your problem is. After all, you’re talking to me. I came through a portal from another world…

What, no response from the Webmaster? I guess I’ve won.

Wait, what? No! I’m just speechless. And just to clarify… Are you saying that all treasure chests in our computer games and video games came from one family?

I’m not actually saying anything of the sort. I’m only saying that according to legend, yes. After all, the family made the treasure boxes for over 700 years. They’ve got to have a lot of them at this point.

Well, I’m still not buying it. But I guess that according to rules of Political Correctness, I can’t actually say that your legends seem to be very… fluffy.

Good thing you didn’t say it, then. After all, we’d hate for me to change any of your recipes.

Ack! Don’t you dare!

Well, I guess that means goodbye for now, readers. I’m going to make sure Fluffy didn’t ruin any of my recipes…

Oh good. I hoped that would get rid of her.

And I should probably let you go. After all, unlike me, you don’t necessarily spend your entire life on this website.

So fare thee well, dear reader, until I next see you.

Doggies in the Office

Hello, everyone!

I came to the realization that my website is lacking. Tremendously lacking.

You can say that again…

I’m not even going to respond to that.

Anyways, it’s lacking in terms of cute animals. Or animals of any kind. Yes, there’s the crocheted unicorn in the banner, but that’s it.

Today’s fluff is designed to fix that. Without further ado, here’s an offsite link to what would happen if doggies worked in the office.

Earrings can be expensive.

Hello, readers! Today’s fluff of the day talks a bit about money, and how to spend it. Or how other people have or will spend theirs. I hope you’re bored, because there really isn’t much point to this.

Isn’t that what fluff is?

Someday, Fluffy, you’re not actually going to make annoying comments when I’m trying to write something.

Quite right. Some day, you’ll come around to my way of thinking and realize that I’m not the annoying one on this site.

Very funny. Not.

Anyways, just a heads up: All links go off-site.

Did you know that earrings can cost as much as Oscar Wilde’s house? I’m not making this up. Apparently, a bit more than a week ago, some $1.8 MILLION earrings made the news.  And I thought 60-Euro gold-plated staples were expensive!